My wife was recently dog sitting for six weeks with a tiny Yorkie and the dog bonded with her, and wouldn’t let her out of its sight, waiting at the door when she left the house, waiting at the foot of the stairs when she was upstairs, and sitting in her lap when she sat…always its eyes were on the Center, its center that it gave to its human top dog.
Cats don’t give a shit. They maintain their center and never give it away. We love our dogs for their dependence and our cats for their independence.
But the child is ambiguous. They are both dependent and independent at the same time. The adult tribes to separate the two imperatives the child feels—I must be independent/ I must be obedient—and label the child’s behavior like this or that because out on/off thinking logic cannot compute ambiguity.
But the child from its viewpoint, its subjective viewpoint is both at the same time. It is obedient to the parent as programed by nature, and independent of the parent as programed by nature. So whatever the child does can be understood by the adult from both viewpoints, considered from both viewpoints, instead of separating the two and working from one certainty or the other.
For the child good is bad and bad is good. For the parent, conditioned by social morality—what will people think if my child does this—the child is chopped up like the Butcher’s meat into good behaviors and bad behaviors. This creates neurotic children who cannot act decisively because they are always doubting whether they are good or bad.
As I reflect on what I just wrote I see that we are all the child who feels that good is bad and bad is good, and cannot understand how one gets divided by the eye of the other who can only see good or bad, and not the good/bad that I know I am.
So when I feel good, the Other sees bad. And when I try to do good, I do bad. I’ve been watching Flea Bag on Amazon Prime, and I see that is one of the meanings of the show. We are all the innocent/guilty. And we suffer when we are cut into good and bad pieces of the butchered cow.