There is no end to the horror, to the crime and the guilt if we start rummaging through our past. Were do we stop? At what generation do we draw the line and say the digging stops here. We are all guilty. The sin is not erased by digging up the grave. The sin is erased when we end the turning away from our guilt here. It is the turning away from our Source in the Now that creates the guilt, and then we blame the guilt on the past, where it cannot be exhumed. We look for the cause of the guilt in the wrong places, in the past, in our ancestors or in our own buried memories. But that is the misplaced guilt.
The past does not exist. Only Now is real, so when we turn from the past to the Now, it is then that the guilt is see but not erased, but we discover that it never existed. To exist as human is to be guilty….and yet we are all innocent. We are the guilty/innocent. This is the eclipse of the mind of time…we are both guilt and innocent, both night and day. (I’ve been contemplating the meaning of the eclipse this morning).
The pain is not in the past, in the ancestors, in the slaves they owned. The Pain is you. But the pain is held in place by the story of the past and one’s implication and identity with the past. It is just a pain, a feeling, a tension, an contraction. How to release it? The pain is not in the past, the pain is you.
What is the goal? To remove the painful feeling? The feeling remains because we don’t accept it. We want to remove it, maybe by going into the past and saying I’m sorry. But still that means I have not accepted the pain, welcomed the pain…as Me. So the pain splits me from me; I want to get rid of the Pain Me. So here is the cause of the pain…my refusal to accept it as me. When I accept the pain, I removes the split in me that is cause by the pain that I don’t accept, that I want to get rid of it. I’m running from me….so I turn…and go directly at the pain instead of away from it, hiding in the past. I turn…and I amy innocent. I look with the eye of innocent or wholeness into the darkness of my own pain, my unconscious pain, my unconscious me. I look with an open eye..and there is the eclipse I am both innocent and guilty…Unity in paradox has been restored. There is now the sweet exile of joy and sorrow. Joy in being One with myself, sorrow in the pain I have caused…that humanity has caused. Both at once, both at one…and that is the compassion of life.
Is this not a classic double-bind where no matter what I do, I’m guilty. If I do nothing I’m guilty; if I do something I affirm the guilt also. No matter what I do I affirm the guilt, I bring the guilt into existence. Am I then the cause of my guilt? And not recognizing that—blaming the past for the guilt, actions done by imaginary people, because those that owned the slaves no longer exist—I look for the guilt in the wrong place, in time.
When I AM NOW meets time, a double-bind is created out of which I cannot escape. I blame my present Now that is timeless on time past. The timeless now and time are incompatible dimension. Neither can change the other. If the effect I’m feeling, the emotions of guilt, is referenced to the past, but the past exists as a creation of Now, then I’m putting the cause of my guilt in a lock box that I cannot open.
So I ask, what is the secret pleasure here. What is the hidden smile behind the double-bind, since it is I who am creating it. What is the unconscious in the conscious here?
Again…I come to the eclipse….I am innocent of my ancestors crimes, and yet I feel the guilt, the shame. So I am guilty or else I wouldn’t feel the shame. But wait, is there a difference between guilt and shame? Guilt is the result of an action, which I didn’t do. Yet Shame seems to be free floating, that cause by some specific act, but a floating guilt that has no root. I can remove the guilt by penance, by a just payment for my act…but shame cannot be redeemed because it has no cause.
Perhaps something deeper is activated here. Something existential, something deeper uncovered. We trip over something in the ground, and this it’s a rock or a branch, but when we dig it up it’s the corpse of some buried pain. Before we run off looking for who did it, we must dig up the whole corpse, curious to what it actually is. We meditate on the corpse like the yogis sent to the burial ground to contemplate their mortality. Our first reaction to the corpse is a smoke screen designed to prevent us from digging deeper.
This is a good point, really about what Facebook is. When someone posts a dilemma, like Jessica did; do we just pat her on the back and it will pass, or I have empathy for you, supporting you, agreeing with you…our Facebook support group that affirms the dilemma we are in actually.
Or do we tell the person they are wrong, somehow at fault, or caught in their own unconscious sin.
Or…do we go into this labyrinth with a ball of Ariadne’s Thread…a exploring awareness that looks at the dilemma from another view point, that looks for another way out of the maize. All dilemmas are double-binds that are created because our conscious mind and its logic have turned into a feed back loop, and as the energy feeds back upon itself, devouring itself the emotions generated by the feedback keeps getting stronger…..
This is the moment with a new view offered, one that has never been seen before, that this energy can be used like a booster rocket to propel the mind out of the gravitational pull of its own karma and conditioning.
Footnote…..with the first response to the dilemma, we affirm the dilemma; with the second response we blame the person for the dilemma; with the third response we explore the dilemma not knowing what it means. The first two responses come from certainty. I’m certain you are right; I’m certain you are wrong…but the third is the certainty of not knowing, of not being certain…so only through that gate is exploration possible.
There is a collectives shame and guilt, a collective pain-body, says Eckhart Tolle, shared by both black and white alike. The pain-body just gets kicked down the karmic road. It can only come to an end in our individual exhuming of the corpse. Can I feel the collective pain without blame, either of myself or the other. If I blame myself, I just kick the pain down the road. And yet the pain is there not to be denied or buried again. Can my acceptance of it, my innocent acceptance of it burn off the trash.
And so you dare to look at the pain and take responsibility for it…yet you are innocent…yet you are guilty for being human (Ilife is pain) ….When we can hold the eclipse, the karma dims.
I am innocent, but because I move in the unconscious currents of humanity, I am guilty. The only way out is to make the unconscious conscious.
I am fundamentally innocent, fundamentally conscious, yet just one thought believed in is the dark spot of the unconscious that creates the guilt of turning away from total consciousness (God) . So my path is to eternally look into that spot of unconscious whenever it appears. It is through the unconscious that I become conscious.
the only way out of the double-bind, the feed back loop of opposites is through creativity (love) or violence (the bomb). But There Must BE One…so the division in the One cannot stand. One becomes One is death or Life….There must be one is the commandment of Love. Violence is failed love.