This is an interesting idea: Do I plan myself or do I create myself, or do I do both? There seems to be a primary intention and a secondary intention. The Primary intention is the intention of life itself to create itself, to create the world it lives in. The secondary intention is to plan the future, to control the future through planning. This secondary intention happens on the flood of the Primary Intention. We loose out balance when the Secondary Intention becomes the Primary Intention, and we try to live a totally planned and controlled life.
The pain of misalignment happens when these two intentions are in conflict. Stuff happens and it disrupts my plans. Now I blame someone or something for the dissonance between my two intentions. Balance and the creative life is the effect of Primary and Secondary intentions being One Intention, the One that is Two…
This is the Lords Prayer, I believe. ThY will be done an earth as it is heaven. In other words, My Will. be one, in secondary intention and primary intention. The Primary Intention is unconscious, the Secondary intention is conscious. The libertine life is conscious/unconscious. Planned spontaneity.
The Idea that is crying within:
“A bodiless chidful of life crying in the gloom with frog voice: What shall I be?” cries within all of us. What shall I be?….so the question is whether I’m created by some divine plan, already laid out, a map to be discovered….or….am I an expanding universe that creates itself, actually creating the space/time in which is live. Then the question is whether I create myself or am I created. If I’m created then I’m created by the past. That doesn’t work.
if my plan creates me, an idea of something in the future that I must be, then the future creates me, but the idea of the plan, where does that come from? From the past. I thrown the idea of what I should be from my past into the future and let this future goal create me…at either end of the stick, the past or the fate, time is creating me…and that doesn’t fit.
The revelation, the Single Idea that changes everything, is the I created time, I create myself, yet I’m dependent upon conditions. But creativity does not depend upon the past, it just stands on the past to launch its rocket that creates a new world, a new idea that never existed before.
The question is then: Did I exist before now? Who am I before my parents were born? (I love Zen).
Did I exist before Now? The answer is ambiguous: yes and no. The logic of cause and effect does not help me understand who I am. If I create myself out of the created, I cannot know who I am, because I’m the uncreated, the unconditioned. I’m always discovering myself as I create myself.