I hope you watch this because it clears my mind of the confusion about the rampant sexual abuse coming to the surface today as more women come out of the closet and reveal their shame in public, which means you are not ashamed. When you are shamed, you don’t expose yourself to more shame. Shame has been the oldest male tactic to keep women in a safe place since Yahweh. He even shamed Eve for hanging out with the snake…which, BTW, its the ancient consort of the Goddess, the wife of God. Yahweh shamed his own wife and demoted her to being a mere frail human who seduced Man, his Adam. Yes, It’s all Hillary’s fault (I mean Eve’s)
In our patriarchal world Idea (Old Yahweh is on top), the woman is always suspect when it comes to sex and men being caught exposing themselves in public. The Shame Game is flipped onto the woman to keep it off the man. It works because of old Yahweh. This is the way of scripture. The woman introduced sin into the world. Its her fault.
But this talk is about the abuse of power using sex. When the man, especially a powerful man who must keep “it up” every day loses the feeling of power, he must steal it back. Where does he get it, from a victim, and where can power be most felt. Sexual power. This is mainlining power right into the veins. Now the depleted power of the power man is replenished and he can go forth with renewed energy, until, of course, it begins to drain, and the compulsion to restore power through sexual aggression or risky sex is like a battery charger.
He is caught in the perfect trap. He has to restore his power (that is an imperative) but he must restore it through risk of his power (being caught and exposed). This is the razor’s edge that eventually you slip off of and get dismembered on your own actions. But even this running against the tide of a coming exposure creates energy. Just one more time. YEA…I did it. I got away with it!
And so the compulsion continues until eventually, the accumulation of pain you caused catches up with you, usually in a tsunami. Your exposure and death of your celebrated and cultivated persona is quick and very painful.
The purpose of sexual aggression is to take the woman’s center of power away from her, to divide her against herself in doubt and guilt and shame. This is the wound that does not heal until you take your power back and transcend the shame that keeps you within the prison of the original abuse.
It takes tremendous psychic energy to maintain your position at the top of the mountain, to get it up everyday as a celebrity or center of power. You can’t let it do down, so rituals are created where one restores power, where you recharge your batteries and conviction you are the One without a Second. These rituals may have started out by accident, yet the rush of power becomes intoxicating and a compulsion is then created where you don’t have power unless you repeat the compulsion. You feel you have no choice, and you don’t because a compulsion is not a choice.
This need to steal power from women is the Prometheus Myth where Prometheus had to steal the power from the gods, and for this he was chained to a mountain where a vulture ate his liver during the day and it healed at night.
The Compulsion is a way out of the double-bind that having to steal one’s power creates. When the double-bind is activated, one is caught in two imperatives that are opposite but mutually dependent so you can choose one or the other to get out of the whirlpool of self chasing itself. The two commandments are (1) You must be powerful, in your center, potent, creative (2) You don’t feel powerful, creative, important.
If you obey number One, you still feel impotent; if you obey number Two, you acknowledge that you don’t have power…..each commandment cancels the other but they both must be obeyed. What do Do? You steal the power from another, male or female it doesn’t matter but there must be the Other who has power you need.
In the immediacy of the Theft, you feel powerful, but in the aftermath you feel guilty because the power was not yours, so in order to overcome the feeling of guilt and powerlessness, you compulsively steal the power in the false hope that you can keep the power you stole…but you can’t because it is not yours.
“What if she digs it?” Ah…right there is the source of the wound in the mind of the abused. She may secretly dig it, so she hates it and love it. The double-bind. If she hates it, she denies her secret excitement; if she accepts her secret pleasure, she’s a slut, she asked for it. The question: did I ask for it or not? I don’t know…I’m wounded caught in the purgatory between two self images that are incompatible.