Picking up where we left off last night with the Dance of Shiva, I created a metaphor for thinking and worry with the backyard dog who barks at me when I walk by. The dog barks is dog thinking. Thinking relieves tension in the mind. When the mind is relaxed, not much thinking; when the mind has tension, great thinking, all the way to a panic attack or some violent act. But thinking releases the pressure of a tension between two contradictory idea or situations out of which we cannot choose.
So my wife just came down with her laundry that I had folded last night, complaining that I did it wrong and there were still wrinkles. I felt the Shiva rising. Damned if I do, dammed if I don’t. I had felt good folding her clothes as she was gone. I folded them like I fold my clothes, even pairing her socks, which I don’t do with my own laundry..
Then as the Shiva was rising, I remembered the Pause of Shiva, visualizing the statue and remembering my talks. “Wow, this is what I’m writing about.” I paused and became interested in the dance, in the tension of the opposite views, mine and my wife’s. I became interested in the pain of feeling the victim, of trying to do right and getting faulted. And she in her pain of always having me screw up what she might do differently. Ah, the dance, the dance.
Unless we can pause and not invest in our victimhood, each in their own feeling of being abused by the other, we just kick the Dance of Shiva down the road.