I hope you liked this talk. I did. It explained a lot for me, understanding the games we play. If you don’t understand the rules of the game you are playing, you are going to lose. No matter what you do, you are going to lose because you don’t understand the rules. When you SEE the rules, the game drops off. You don’t have to choose to not play, to either play or not play. SEEING is not a choice. SEEING is the action of not playing what you don’t understand. SEEING makes the unconscious game conscious. SEEING is creative action, not passive observation as we think it is. SEEING is BEING. SEEING is doing.
You hand is inadvertently on a hot stove. You feel something hot. You SEE that your hand is on the hot stove. You hand comes off. There is no gap between the SEEING and the ACTION of taking your hand off the stove. SEEING is BEING. This is the great revelation.
We are talking about how someone who is abused is wounded and loses their power to the other. This becomes a ritual, a ritual of abuse, or a game. You cannot escape the game unless you see your participation in it; it takes two to play a game. The two sides of the game board are victim/aggressor. But in relationship both sides see themselves as the victim. You have a equation where each side is both the aggressor and the victim. Each subjectively sees themselves as the victim of the other, and the other sees the other was the aggressor. It’s a perfect match.
As long as you blame the other‚ which each side does‚ you cannot escape the game. It’s called the Blame Game. We keep playing the game because of our secret pleasure in the game, for the game gives us an identity and a place in the world. A game with benefits. This game is played because you have lost your center. In the game the center of each player is invested in the other, and each tries to take their center back, hence, the game continues because neither is claiming their own center. They believe the other has stolen it. One player is aggressive, the other player is passive. In this way the game feeds itself, a self generating energy system. But in the game the passive player is also aggressive and the aggressive play is also passive. This is a game made in heaven because it is perfectly balanced, and neither player can see the rules that govern the game because each has an investment in the game.
I think we fear taking to our partner in our game because we fear exposing our selves, our self loathing, the Minotaur hidden in the labyrinth of our mind. It is this buried pain that drives our game, that energizes the ritual game that on the surface tries to remove the pain, but the game just kicks the can of pain down the road, creating a compulsion that we cannot resist. Like a grove in a record, we cannot stop putting the needle to the music. Play I again Sam, just one more time. Maybe this time it will be the last song, but it never is…until you just walk away into the fog of the unknown tomorrow.
You see, we play the game ritually because it is all we know. We don’t know who we are other than the game, and who knows when this game started. This life time, a previous lifetime, at the dawn of humanity. We don’t know. But we do know that without the game we don’t know who we are. Without the game board we are dead. So we play because we have no choice. We can’t choose not to play because you can’t choose what you don’t know. You can’t choose your own non-existence. You can’t choose what you have never been before. We can only choose the known, and what we know is the game.
Life is a game, a play of consciousness. The way the game is played is that we either see the rules of the game and stop playing or we don’t and we continue to suffer the consequences of not being conscious. When we become conscious and stop playing the game, we still play the game, which is waking up from the game. Waking up is the fun part of the game. Without the game, you can’t wake up. That’s the game.