When we are in a lose/lose dilemma, violence seems to be the only way out. I have no choice,” we feel. Only this mad violence act will relieve the escalating tension of having no choice. This “No Choice” resolution is in the news every day. Lets have a martini and look into this.
‘We have to understand when one is trapped in a lose/lose dilemma, it cannot be sustained because there must be only One reality; if we can’t choose a reality that affirms our existence, we are in a no choice situation, and then that person may choose a violent act to escape the intolerable Horn of Dilemma.
Perhaps this is why Trump creates an alternative reality by always choosing a winning reality, even if it is a false reality. If losing is intolerable, then one chooses a false reality or a lie and actually suspends disbelief so that this reality appears to be real, or the truth.
These horns of dilemma don’t describe what I’m talking about here, I just realized, because this is an easy choice of right over wrong. The dilemma is when both horns are wrong for me. Not wrong objectively, but wrong for me subjectively, I can’t do it. This double-bind cannot be escaped by choice. For instant, if the mother tells the child to try and be spontaneous, that is a double-bind. You can’t try to be spontaneous. This always happens when the mother tells the child to smile for the camera. For the child the smile is spontaneous. He doesn’t know how to make himself smile. He may learn, but it will always be fake. Another one, a more adult commandment, is try to be authentic.
Or how about this one. Try to love God, or Jesus. You should love God with all. your heart…so try to do that, or you will be punished by exile from the church. You see how this works. You can’t try to be you.
But getting back to the double-bind that creates terrorist acts or mass shooters, they are leaping onto the back of the Last Shadow, but in a violence way instead of a creative way. Instead of including both horns of the dilemma to create a new bull, or reality, they destroy one of the horns. Both have to restore the One, when the One is split into two horns. Restore the Bull. One path creates a new Bull; the other path destroys one of the horns, so there is only One horn remains, or Number One.
One path goes by reduction, removing the enemy or Other, the other path goes by including both opposites to create a larger whole, a larger bull, a larger boat.
We need a bigger boat of understanding, we need to create a bigger boat. That what is pressing the nation and us as individuals today. We need to create a bigger boat of understanding that will includes the contradictory realities that or competing to be the one reality. Choosing Left or Right is just trying to remove one of the horns. The boat will be smaller, not bigger, and you can have a right without a left. You can have an Up without a Down. We need to create a bigger reality that includes both Up/Down as the One.