Our culturally conditioned approach to mental pain is that the world is my Pain-Body. The cause of my pain is out there or in here. Someone must be to blame. Blaming the external ends in anger and violence; blaming the inside ends in guilt, depression and suicide. Both views miss the mark.
When we reach the saturation point in our pain, a shift becomes possible and a door slams shut that seals us in a closed room where I realize that I am responsible for my pain. When shut in a closed room with your pain, there is no place to go and no one to blame. This sounds like torture, but it is really the opening of the prison door.
When you accept your pain as your cell mate, you no longer resist it, fight it, pound on the walls. There it is. You can’t separate yourself from it. And here is where the dateless gate of Zen is found. When you stop resisting yourself as hurting, stop blaming the hurt, trying to escape the hurt, the hurt opens up and releases you from the hurt. Watch the movie the Hurt Locker as a metaphor to this release.