“Pay attention to your pain: keep feeling the grief, the fear, the dread, the loneliness, whatever it is. Stay alert and stay present with your whole Being, with every cell of your body. As you do so, you are bringing a light into this darkness. This is the flame of your consciousness.” Eckhart. Tolle (from The New Earth)
Be kind to yourself. Have compassion for yourself, for your crying inner child who is hurting. Don’t be reactive is what Tolle is saying. Don’t blame the other or yourself for the feeling of pain, this emotional pain.
Look at it this way. The universe is always in balance, returns to balance like a snow globe when you stop shaking it. When there is emotional pain, you feel out of balance. When in balance there is no emotional pain, no wobbles. Stop shaking your “snow globe” mind to get rid of the snow of pain. Staying present with your pain means not doing anything about it; no blaming, no giving it meaning (that’s a big shake right there.) Meaning means determining who did it to you. Meaning means blaming someone or something. Meaning means making you the victim. So relax.
When you relax and do nothing with the pain, you stop shaking the snow globe of the mind, and the mind (which is nature) restores balance. The pain cannot be sustained if you don’t give it a story to hold it in memory where our sense of self or identity is maintained.
This is good physics. You mind restores balance when you are present with it, just listening, just being present with it. Don’t disturb the mind and it will clear.