The question of KAV’s guilt or innocence is framed by our inability to rest in ambiguity, to hold judgment, no restrain from choosing this or that. We live in a rational logical materialism where truth must be Either this Or that. Truth can’t be this/that; truth can’t be ambiguous, so we can’t by the force of our need to choose rest in uncertainty. The Call to Certainty is like the speakers in a rock concert.
I was listening on morning news to two people discussing KAV and each had an opposite perspective on his “emotional behavior.” One view was that it a job killer because of its un-judicial temperament. The other view was that it was understandable and permitted because of the extreme pressure he was under, being falsely accused in front of his family.
KAV is ambiguous, and both views are right. However, the judgment was rushed and evidence was not allowed to come out because if assumed to be innocent, there is no evidence. Assumed to be guilty, the evidence to prove it was not allowed to come out. Ambiguity just gets kicked down the road of time.
And here’s why, I think. Ambiguity in politically potential events creates the polarity of Right versus Left realties. Whether you are Conservative or Liberal, you identity depends on not being the Other. So there is an existential need to create the polarity in which we find our Identity of Investment. When we invest of Self in a political “team,” it is the polarity that generates our very sense of self.
It is the contest in sports, us against them, that generates the roar of the crowd. If you have no interest in either team, football is quite boring.
With our need to feel the roar for out Team, the ambiguity of KAV could not be sustained until the evidence was thoroughly laid out on the table. We cry and complain about the polarity of our society, but we really love it because we have lost our true individuality, and now we exist because we are on a team with an arch enemy. Each team is defined by its opponent.
The irony is that in avoiding ambiguity, we create ambiguity.
OK, I want to write on this Idea some more because it has legs for me. How do I find truth in my own life? That is the question. How do I stop toe polarity in my own mind, the worry mind, the incessant monolog of circular thinking? That is the real question, isn’t it. The external polarity in the society is a reflection of the internal polarity that is ME. That is the question.
What is an inner polarity? Unless we can see it in our own mind, all our efforts to get rid of its pain in the external world will just increase it until we have a nervous breakdown or shoot ourselves or someone else. Violence is the failed attempt to get rid of the polarity in our own mind.
We live in a thought created culture. Everything is created by thought, and thought is a polarity operating system. Is Kav innocent or guilty? Our reference to evaluate evidence depends upon which end of the see saw we sit on. If I sit on the Left, the facts shape around that reference, clearly and logically. If I sit on the Right end, the same facts shape around that end perfectly. I cannot understand why the other end of the polarity can’t see that. I get angry.
When I can rest in the ambiguity of Not Knowing, I create the empty space where my heart felt identity is born. Yes born. When caught in the see saw of ambiguity I’m the Unborn because I am two ME’s. Using the see saw as our working metaphor, the Truth is that the see saw needs both ends. You can’t have one end of relative truth without the opposite. Since both ends are moving up and down, I’m right, you’re wrong…oh, no now I’m wrong and you’re right…on and on…The truth which is always the One without a Second is is pattern of the see saw, not either end as seen from being on the see saw.
Truth requires the suspension of the identification with either end of the see saw.. You have to sit on the park bench and observe the mind’s polarity. Morality is a see saw with my end being good and the other end being bad. There is no end to the Moral See Saw. We never see the whole bull, just one horn or the other, and we fear being gored by the other horn…never seeing that the two horns of the ambiguity dilemma is one bull without a second.
In a polarized society where you are either Right or Left, there is no way to find that Park Bench because the park bench is transcendent of the see saw experience. One has to die to your seat on the see saw to find yourself suddenly on the park bench. It’s a sudden shift like that. Suddenly you see and there is no more confusion and mind polarity. And what you see you do. Finally, seeing and action are one.
The view from the Park Bench is Awareness that transcends our acculturated thought and mind. For the first time the world is no longer hostile, and you are no longer a victim of the other end of the see saw. But we still don’t escape ambiguity: I am on the see saw; I am not on the see saw (park bench). And that’s Zen.
I’m asking you all to put a really wide angle lens and zoom back until you can see the pattern of polarity that shapes out current time in history. While polarity in the secular modern world has always been there, today there seems to be a radical fundamental revolt against secularism and the uncertainty and meaningless of ambiguity and polarity, the double-bind of polarity. But the fundamental revolt against polarity is misplaced because it doubles down on one end of the see saw polarity. And of course, the other end double-down, and the see saw just speeds up until we feel it is going to through us off into the void.
The fundamentalist revolt against secular polarity is morality. There is nothing more certain than our moral view, and now you end of the see saw is a Absolute Good and the other end Absolute Evil. There is no end to that see saw.
Politics was always a see saw in the political play ground. But now with the religious revolt against the certainty of God being removed from the playground, it has made the playground a cosmic war of Good versus Evil and it is not policy that is at stake but our very souls salvation.
In order to discover the park bench in the playground of the mind, we have to find the way in our mind/world, not in society. Truth is in there, not out there. You are the world and the world is you. The fact is live is ambiguous. Nothing is certain. Heaven is hell, hell is heaven. Buddha calls it impermanence.